Well sleep wasn't an option today. My nerves have got he better of me and I am over all not in the right frame of mind. I have thought about not going. Thought about getting in the car and leaving. Like if I don't go does it exist. If I leave did all this really happen? I waited till 5am to text Eddie. Told him I don't want to go. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy.
So he picked me up at 830am. But I don't understand why he couldn't even come in or knock. He just always text "here". That infuriates me. But I guess I can't get mad at something so minor. He takes me to philly for doctor appointments and treatment.
Today I have labs, see the doctor and the first round of chemo!
So labs are simple. You sign in they call your name and you get a vials of blood taken. DONE!
We then go and meet with the doctor. This was a long meeting. We talked about the cancer. He explained that he cannot stage the cancer until the bone marrow comes back. He explained that it takes a few weeks. During this time, I started to get light headed and dizzy. My blood pressure was low. Both Dr. Wang and Dr. Fung were in the office. They had me stand up and they held on to me. I couldn't stay standing. I told them I normally ride it out. The nurse continued to take my blood pressure and took my sugar. My sugar was fine. My blood pressure kept changing. They were concerned that the Multiple Myeloma had effected my heart. So the doctor explained that he will put me on a heart pill and get me an echocardiogram. It was explained that the infusion will be several drugs and then I will have an at home chemo pill.
Dr. Wang also discussed going on a pain pill. I was adamant about not using any. Eddie and the doctor talked to me for a good 20 minutes about how much pain I was in and that I need to give myself a break and stop trying to be strong. I CAVED. Looking back, it's the best thing I did. The pain is bearable now. I can function during the day. I feel like a normal individual. There is no pain in my head, back or legs. I never thought it would happen.
I left that doctor appointment with several medications. Me. Me. I hated taking medications. When I was 17 I had a seizure I was put on medication then taken off. I had 4 seizures from 17-20. At 19, I went to University of Penn and was told that I would need to take medication for the rest of my life. I made a pact to never take anything else. When in pain, I would only take ibuprofen. So me leaving with several prescriptions was just so much for me to take.
From there I was put in a wheelchair and taken to finish out the day. That was heartbreaking. I had to be wheeled everywhere because they were concerned that I would get dizzy and collapse. My blood pressure was doing crazy things! We had to schedule my appointments for the next month. Again nothing easy as I need people to bring me because it is long and exhausting and my body can't handle it! Eddie made it a point to make sure I ate!
Then for the next 3 hours, we sat in the infusion room. Eddie is the most supportive man. He sat through everything. He pushed me in a wheelchair. He cares and although doesn't stay it, he loves me.
While sitting with the IV in my arm, I decided it is time to make a team! I need to have people around that can take me to the doctors and be there if needed! #teammonica. Eddie was adamant about this also as he can't always be there and worries because my mom isn't one to really take care of me. So I sat and really pondered who do I want to know all my information.
Chrissy - She is on my team. I mean Giulianna's godmother! One of my closest friends. She will come to bat for me whenever I need. I send her a text with the dates.
Kathryn - My cousin. Although years ago we were never close. Over the last few years we have gotten close and I feel she will step in and help when she can. I shoot her a quick text with dates.
Tammy - This is my girl. We worked at the FM office together. Went through many things together. She came and saw me over the last month and said if I need anything. Time to test the theory. I send her a quick text with the dates.
Amy - I send a text asking "how would you feel about being part of team Monica and taking me to chemo one day." She says "I would be honored" I send her the dates.
Christine - then there is Christine. I don't know how to explain where she fits in. My personal ray of sunshine. Always there when I need her! Of course she is in!
So now I have a team. People I can count on! People who will support me! #teammonica
After we were done he took me home, walked me in and kissed me goodbye. Because I was tired and I needed to go to bed!
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