February 26, 2017: Telling Your Kid!

How do you tell a 12 year old you have cancer? For weeks I pondered this question. Do I have someone with me? Do I seek professional help? What do I do? I asked people their opinion. In all you learn and know what is best because it is your child and this is your CANCER. You are the one going through this journey and you are the one making the decisions.

There was no rhyme or reason why I decided the day I did or how I did. I think some had to do with her crying the night before about people dying and why does everyone have CANCER. But I got up that Sunday morning. I made us breakfast. My mom went grocery shopping. Giulianna and I sat at the table to eat. I remember she was playing on her iPad. I had to ask her to turn it off and put it away.


I was very specific. I said, "you know how mommy is sick." She said, "yes." I said, " well mommy has this thing called cancer." I saw her eyes widen! My heart sank. I knew I had to say something quick. "Mommy isn't dying." The look of relief washed over her face. I said, " so Mommy's cancer is in her blood." This girl looked more confused then a deer in headlights. She said, "like those tumors all over inside." I said, "I don't have any tumors inside." So I explained the way a 12 year old can understand. "You know how in your game you have bad guy who try to take over your world." She says yup. "Well I have all this bad blood that took over my body. And the treatment tries to kill the bad blood and helps the good blood take back over just like in your game."

She says, "Oh. So every Friday when you go to the doctor they help you fight the bad blood." I said, "Yup." Then I explained that sometimes mommy may need some help because mommy might be tired and sick from the treatment. She says, "Like help carrying things." "Exactly." You just never know when your kids become so smart. I explained further that on Saturday I am tried from treatment and that is why Grannie is taking her to bowling. I explained that for the next few months this is going to be the routine but once this is over mommy will be better and back to normal. Giulianna got up from the table and walked away happy.

Later in the day I ask if she has an questions. She said no. I asked if she is sad. She said, "Not said like I want to cry. Sad in my heart for you because you have to go through this." I hug her tighter and realize I did something right in life. I created a child with compassion and respect. If anything in this world you try and raise your child to treat others the way you want to be treated. Well I think I have accomplished just that. Giulianna is exceptional.